Induldge…this might take a minute

August 23, 2010 at 6:00 am 3 comments

It was Friday night…

The focus has changed from prior years and days…

At my age it is pretty common to be suiting up in your best attire as you slowly sip on your “pre-game” cocktail preparing your sobriety to be tested to it’s max.

You have already rallied the troops up and each are on their way to the appointed rendezvous point.

You are cranking your favorite music loud and clear so that any small disturbance is muted out as your anxiety builds with your tipsiness.

Your indecisiveness is not “who will be sober enough to drive ya around the entire night?” but rather what gosh darn shirt to wear.

As you stare at the three of them hanging, you figure it is best to fix another drink and …hey, why not…let us do a shot!

Your troops begin to pop up with just as much excitement and wardrobe issues as you.

The house is a stir now with music jamming, mirrors occupied, and alcohol flowing.

Ah the good times, eh?

Well let me take this opportunity to inform you of the outside in.

The time, money, and bottom line health issues should be enough to say, “wait a minute what am I doing?”  But then again…you’re young, you aren’t crazy, right?

It is until now I have fully begun to understand that you are not in charge in evaluating those of whom you may be hurting due to your self indulgence in anything that you may do.

Those of you that are blessed with siblings, parents, grandparents and all the other wonderful people that make up your family…where are they while you are in the midst of carrying out your repetitive lifestyle of indulgence?

Do you see your significant other more than your Mom?

Do your party friends see you more than your grandmother?

No matter what the case…through your actions, you demonstrate true character and what you speak will illustrate the true abundance in what you are.

Your family sits as they watch the one they love participate and dedicate their lives to people and behaviors that not only cater to other people, but is a destructive lifestyle in general.

How much do you love your family?

When is the last time you…on a Friday evening “ALL NIGHT” put the phone away and sat around a dinner table with your grandparents, parents, sister, or brother and did nothing but TALK about what it was that made them up into the ONLY people who truly love you.

Since my arrival back to the United States amongst my family, I have made it not only a lifestyle but a requirement that I pick days that are ALWAYS spent with my family – the best days too – your Friday nights and Saturday mornings…yeah I know, they aren’t always the top thing you may WANT to do as your entire friend list is heading out to the best bars, restaurants, and locales.

For the past 7 months of my life, more than ever, I have made it not only my job, but it is now my pleasure to spend time with those of whom that raised me. The ones that love me more than they love themselves – the ones that have already seen and done it all.

I love my friends whom I have made over my years and trust me, I can say I have the best TRUE friends anyone could ever ask for.

But as I grow older, I am just now starting to understand the true meaning of sacrifice.

If you have many wants in life (and I have more than the average) be sure that what you’re giving out weighs your want list.

I am learning that, as you make it a lifestyle to give in your time and money to all those around you, and most importantly family, God throws everything you could have ever asked for and more at ya faster than you can handle it.

My life is seriously out of control right now…I cannot explain to you in words the glory in which I step in with every minute.

I constantly cleanse my thoughts and my actions and as you do… all of a sudden you find yourself not doing anything but being led to the right people, places, and everything you could have ever prayed for begins to come knocking at the front door…literally.

Those of you praying for a new job, well you are asking God to give you a job that within the first week will give you 40 hrs of pay?…40 hrs is just the beginning…May I ask how many hours you have prayed asking for the job?

Some are asking for a lifetime of health to be healed from a sickness…a lifetime?…but yet I know people who say a 30 second prayer that came out of a book to heal their body!? People listen, it is all about sacrifice.

God knows your heart. I am not saying there is a mandated time behind prayer to receive certain things but for goodness sake if you said you loved me with all your heart and you wanted to spend eternity with me but yet you spoke to me for 30 seconds a day only repeating after someone or a book…I mean really?

You say you love your family…prove it.

Honestly look at this past weekend.

How much time did you dedicate to those that love you most…not your boyfriends, girlfriends, but your first, second, third cousins. The young children within your family you still have not paid a visit to because you are too busy. How about your Dad or Mom…have you asked them out on a date lately?

You see as you grow, your most important responsibility is to begin giving back and holding together the family in which you were given. Not everyone had a father or mother figure and all the other blood related folk…but you all know who your family is. As they begin to get older and those around you that are younger…they all need you.

I know God has made it an even heavier responsibility on me…being the oldest brother of 3 and now major role model to my many cousins.

I realize now how shameful my lifestyle prior to this was…full of self-indulgence and one of shame.

I had it all – the money, the toys, girls, and much more…but place me face to face with my beloved grandparents and I had nothing but lost time and no memories.

This is something you need to fix.

Remember guys, don’t worry about giving anything up at all…

If you truly are going to try and change your self-indulgence into a self giving…those around you will begin to give you up.

I love you all…my life is not my own and through that I have more than I could of ever asked for.

-Chenzo a dedicated mommy lover and baby jar maker.

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Entry filed under: Chenzo Script.

Jam out Saturday Oopsy Tuesday

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Terry  |  August 24, 2010 at 7:37 am

    Take the quote, “It takes a village to raise a child” and think about it for a second. When I think about this quote I think about my family, friends, and all the other people that it took to raise me and the people that had an influence in my life. My family and I have a great relationship and I wouldn’t expect anything less. I totally agree with you that we need to spend more quality time with our family, for who knows how long they will be with us. There are days where my wife and I spend all day and night with my family and I wouldn’t trade those times for anything, but I don’t have to completely change my lifestyle because of it either. We will never be able to give back to them in our lifetime for what they have given to us, but we can try! I believe that I have always had one of the tightest relationships with my family and never once had to change my lifestyle.

    There is nothing wrong with indulging in a few drinks with your friends, listening to blaring loud music, or taking shots! I think that all of us at some point in our lives was “on the outside looking in”. Whether it was seeing a family member get obliterated out of their minds, or staying sober one night and watching our close friends enjoy a great night of drunkiness! Although blood is thicker than water, having friends and not abandoning them to change your lifestyle is also important. I don’t think that I would be where I am today if it wasn’t for the friends that I have. I don’t think that a lot of people would be where they are today if it wasn’t for their friends. And what about them people out there whose families abandoned them due to abuse, drugs, or just the lack of family values? Who do you think them people turned to in tough times? Their friends! My point here is that your family should take second to none, but your friends are a very close second!

    My wife for example left “home” when she was 18. Adventuring 1,200 miles away and leaving all family behind to begin a very successful career. If it wasn’t for finding such great friends and a loving husband (me, haha), who knows what might have happened to her. Yes, she might have her head “screwed-on straight” due to her parents but in the long run it has been her friends that have molded her into what she is for the past 6 or 7 years of her life. I am happy that you, my friend, Vinny has found happiness too, but I take it kind of personal when you talk about the life you used to live (due to the fact that I participated in so much of it with you) and not giving back to our parents/grandparents. I do everything possibly to “chill” with the rents or do anything for them! There have been nights where we put the phones aside and sat around talking. Just because you lead a different lifestyle (which is completely fine!), we no longer have the relationship we once had. I have seen a close friend of mine that we all know so well, whose life took a turn for the worse, and is now at a place where he is doing MUCH better more in the last 2 months than I have seen my Vinny in the last 4! I’m sure Vin is busy with work, his new life, and friends, but I feel that I am no longer a great friend to him. I am sure that Vinny would support me when I say I am a pretty giving person too. What Vinny is doing is great for the community and I wouldn’t knock him for one second, but when it comes to “indulging”, I believe that people can do so and lead a perfectly fine, successful, lifestyle at the same time! Keep up the good work Vin!


  • 2. Blake T. Wall  |  August 23, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    No offense to anyone who reads this, but many of the things Vincenzo is referring to, he used to do with me. I have never been the type to be big into mirrors or what shirt to wear as much as I was into who I am associating with. As Vin knows, I have a small circle of people who are “allowed” to be around me and my family. I understand the overall intent of the article is that we need to spend more quality time with our loved ones, however, I think some of that message is lost in the bashing of, so called, “self indulgence.” Just because a person drinks alcohol does not mean that they are in some way disconnected from reality or from their family.

    I guess what it boils down to is, I am glad that my boy Vin has found happiness in his life. I, however, found it a long time ago… you see, I already do all of the things, only I do them over a beer!

    God is great, Beer is good, and people are crazy 🙂



    p.s. – I also agree with you that friendship and family are about sacrifice, the ones who love you will make sacrifices to be in your life, the ones who do not will sacrifice the relationship… that is what a TRUE friend is, and in the end, whoever is left standing beside you, you’ll know it’s because they WANTED to be there!

  • 3. jack D  |  August 23, 2010 at 9:57 am

    The blog is dead on. Die to self and everything you need will be provided beyond your wildest dreams.
    Try this….”seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (not yours) and everything you ever need will be given to you.” Not my words……..God’s! But I am leaving proof that God only says what he means.
    Oh yeah……LOVE NEVER FAILS. (PS: God is love)


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